Practicing the Six Steps of Inner Bonding leads us along the spiritual path of healing the wounded soul and creating communion with God. Practicing them on a daily basis leads to the development of a loving, spiritually-connected Adult. The Six Steps of Inner Bonding are:

Step One: Willingness to Feel Pain and Take Responsibility for our Feelings

Moving into the present moment and focusing within, tuning into our feelings - the physical sensations within the body. Choosing to be mindful of and pay attention to all distressing feelings rather than protect against them with substance and process addictions.

Step Two: Moving into the Intent to Learn

Inviting the presence, the compassion, of Spirit into our being to help us learn what we are doing or thinking that may be causing our pain. In Inner Bonding there are only two possible intents in any given moment: to protect against pain and avoid our responsibility for it through trying to control ourselves and others, or to learn about what we are doing or thinking that may be causing our pain so that we can move into loving ourselves and others. When we are in the intent to learn we are being a loving Adult. When we are in the intent to protect and avoid we are operating from our ego wounded self, or child-adult. In Step Two, we welcome and embrace all our feelings with compassion.

Step Three: Dialoguing with our Wounded self and Core Self

Discovering the thoughts/false beliefs that may be causing our fear and pain; releasing anger and pain in appropriate ways; learning about the past that created the false beliefs; nurturing our wounded self; exploring our core Self and what brings us joy.

Step Four: Dialoguing with our Higher Guidance

Asking our spiritual Guidance (whatever that is for you): What is the truth about the thoughts/false beliefs we may have uncovered in Step Three? and What is the loving behavior toward our Inner Child in this situation? What is in our highest good? Opening and allowing the answers to come through us in words, pictures or feelings. The answers may not come immediately, but if we have a sincere desire to learn, they will come.

Step Five: Taking Loving Action

Telling ourselves the truth and taking the loving action that came through from Step Four; putting God/Spirit into action.

Step Six: Evaluating Our Action

Checking in to see if our pain, anger and shame are getting healed. If not, we go back through the steps until we discover the truth and actions that brings us peace and joy, as well as a deep sense of intrinsic worth.

Two qoutes from IB that I really like:

"You have good and compelling reasons for feeling the way you do."

"Some people refuse to set their own worth and lovability."


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