The Work of Byron Katie is like a check up from the neck up. Her first book is called LOVING WHAT IS.
Her website is in the links.
The Work of Byron Katie and Step 3 of IB
Step 3: Dialogue with our wounded self and the core self
Exploring the fears and false beliefs that may be causing our pain; releasing anger and pain in appropriate ways; learning about the past that created the false beliefs; nurturing our wounded self (inner child); exploring our core Self and what brings us joy. (From the IB website)
Judge your neighbor
Ask the 4 questions
1) Is it true?
2) Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3) How do you react when you think that thought?
4) Who would you be without the thought?
Turn it around
The website has work sheets and guides and I can’t do it justice here.
Innerbonding invites us to explore how we might be causing our own discomfort.
The Work invites us to investigate how our thinking might be arguing with reality and therefore causing our discomfort.
Here’s a recent personal example:
My boss should treat me with dignity and respect.
Is it true? Well, yah, shouldn’t everybody?
Can I absolutely know that it’s true? Well, does it pass the reality litmus test? Does he? No.
How do I react when I think that thought? I get anxious and passive-aggressive.
Who would I be without the thought? I would be a guy at work, enjoying what he does for the most part. I would be free.
My boss shouldn’t treat me with dignity and respect.
I should treat myself with dignity and respect.
I should treat him with dignity and respect.
Embracing reality: I am willing and I look forward to being disrespected by my boss (as long as I work there).
Katie’s work is all about acceptance. I have friends with huge problems with acceptance. I would not recommend The Work to them. If you are ready to take responsibility for your own inner world then The Work can be a big help with step 3 and the turn arounds provide excellent material for steps 4 and 5.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from Katie:
If (you knew) this (situation) was your only path to God would you choose it?
When I argue with reality, I lose-but only always.
It’s not your job to like me-that’s my job.
The worst thing that has ever happened is an uninvestigated thought.
I don’t let go of my concepts-I meet them with inquiry (understanding) and they let go of me.
Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell about it.
The direct route is: “God is everything, God is good.”
Reality is God, because it rules.