Recidivism (return of the doer) is a term normally used to describe a relapse into criminal or antisocial behavior.
It’s based on a word which means to backslide.
I like to use it in terms of spiritual experience, as a return to known or habitual mental patterns, usually away from a recent retreat, breakthrough or otherwise notable spiritual experience.
We leave feeling so good and then sometimes dramatically, other times slowly, we are distracted from it.
Papaji looked at this quite humorously. He said, If you have gained anything here that you can lose, don't wait until you get home, lose it now.
Only the Ramana-like no mind is not subject to this. What about the rest of us? What’s the difference? It’s the choices we make and the way we treat ourselves after we make them. Sri Ramana chose to “abide as the Self” and did not suffer. Until it is that clear to us, we can make things, people or our reputation more important than Truth or Peace and we will suffer. That was His karma, this is ours.
It’s not good or bad, that’s just the way it is.
It’s not the end of the world, it’s a wakeup call.
My natural reaction to suffering is guilt and shame.
I’m doing something wrong or I am something wrong.
Judgment doesn’t help.
It adds to my discomfort.
So, priorities is my first issue.
Where is my attention?
Am I focused internally or externally?
My next favorite is trying to relive my past pleasant memories to the point of missing present experience. I forget to be open to a fresh discovery of my Self.
It’s only by being open and vulnerable that I discover what is invulnerable in this moment.
Whether I call this self investigation or self observation or vigilance, it’s important to note my attitude toward it.
Distraction, attachment, humbling and freedom.
Do I consider it a privilege or a burden?
Gangaji asks, Where am I lying?
I can only hide, defend and protect a lie,
a person who does not exist.
The truth requires none of this.
Then there is my own favorite version of self inquiry,
who is not content?